They say it's your birthday...

Please allow me to introduce myself.
I am a recovering trouble maker, a chandelier swinger, my circle's token party girl. I know what's going on, when it's happening, and who's going to be there.  I almost never say no.  To anything.  This has always worked for me.  But-is it even still true?

See, this is important.  Because today is my 38th birthday.

I am staring down the barrel of 40.

The twist is, unlike the friends who have waited until now to make their bad decisions in a futile attempt to preserve youth, it's sorta how I've always done things. It makes me fascinating (a legend in my own mind). So now what happens? Get it together? Step into line like my daddy done?

I'm probably being too hard on myself here. I do actually have it together.  I always have been equal parts shitty mess and voice of reason.  And probably the only right-brained Type A personality in the history of all highly accurate Facebook psychology quizzes. It's just that now it's time to sit back and reconcile all this- who I was/am (full disclosure here: just last Friday I got so drunk I threw up in a pint glass.  I see this as a testament to my skill and experience as said vomit was perfectly contained without a drop in my hair or surrounding areas) with who I am/should be-recently married, growing up, and aging at a rate slightly slower than a banana.

In the 20 (!) years since my 18th birthday
I have had countless lovers; only a few real heartbreaks.
I have loved-unconditionally, unrequited, out of obligation, and everything in between.
I have been loved-unconditionally, in fair weather, and as a dirty little secret.
I have sat at more deathbeds than a person my age should.
I have kissed newborn foreheads and toddler boo boos and teenage angst.
I have chosen to be childless.
I have recited wedding vows, and I have been committed.
I grew up in a small town, lived in a big city, on an island, and came back home again.
I've been an it girl, a rock star, an almost, a has been, a never was, and a some day. I started from the bottom now I'm here, somewhere in a self-effacing middle.

And every story I'm about to tell is true. Let the countdown begin.