In no particular order...
1. mosquito “mouth parts”
2. road kill
3. not being able to open a banana
4. people who can’t walk in heels and choose to wear them anyway
5. Marc Jacobs lipstick
6. strangers who want to chat in public restrooms—actually this is not
limited to strangers. I don’t want to
chat in the bathroom.
7. This infuriating bullshit:
8. death before 40
9. sneezing right after applying mascara
10. people who don’t vote
11. morning TV and/or radio “personalities”
12. the Yulin Dog Meat Festival
13. flip flops worn in public (in the absence of a dorm shower or body
of water) as if they were a proper pair of shoes—which leads me to:
14. looking at your chipped toenail polish
15. facebook
16. crust on condiment lids
17. mumbling
18. paper cuts on my face—yes, this happens to me often enough that it
made the list.
19. being the only party in a restaurant
20. reality television
21. that no one remembers there was a chick in Black Flag
22. spray tan
23. dudes who don’t wear undershirts with button-ups
24. gum smacking
25. thigh gaps
26. jealousy—usually my own, I tend to ignore everyone else’s
27. IPAs
28. excess saliva
29. sleeveless anything
30. people who walk without picking up their feet
31. non-stop yammering
32. existential loneliness
33. fleece
34. bad table manners
35. my mother
36. motherfuckers who have no interest in yielding and/or merging
37. that I never know when to use were vs. was
38. solo careers
39. long, flat butts
40. that thing when someone is just a smidge too far away for you to
hold the door/elevator but you know they see you and you don’t want to be an
asshole, so you have to make a split second choice between standing there for too
long like a ding dong or being an asshole
No comments :
Post a Comment