5 Current Obsessions
1. Craigslist Missed Connections. Years ago a friend of mine and I would get shit-faced and peruse Craigslist for escort ads and missed connections. We also used to search our home and work zip codes to see if we knew anyone on the the sex-offender registry, but that's a whole other story. I never knew that many people followed missed connections, but recently a local magazine started publishing the "best of" and my love of this filth fest was rekindled. People blow each other in Wal-Mart parking lots, they lust after 5K runners in Starbucks, they piss in each other's mouths. It. is. everything.
2. e.l.f. eyeliner in Midnight. It's hard to stay trendy without looking desperate when you're pushing 40. So when I started reading that blue eye makeup would be all the rage this Spring, I wondered how I'd pull that off without bringing back my youthful yearnings of being cast in an Adam Ant video. I'm also not into spending $20 on a pencil I might use twice, so I did some drugstore research. This
eyeliner 1) is the perfect color--nothing like the teal one my trashy aunt used to wear. 2) is only $3.00, and 3) probably full of horrible science since it is only $3.00, and it very well may put my eyes out with no warning because it is a rare drugstore brand that happens to be cruelty free. So no monkeys went blind (this time) helping me stay relevant.
3. Mobb Deep. Are they in the news or something? I feel like maybe I've read about them lately and something subliminal happened. I woke up one day last week with Eye for an Eye in my head, and I've been listening to The Infamous non-stop ever since. It makes for interesting errand running.
4. Professional Realtor Pics. I'm getting the itch again. I'm looking to hitch up my wagon again and go. And I can't get enough of the realtor pics on the usual real estate sites. These are some of the most ridiculous people I've ever seen. I can't decide which is my favorite type--the party girl who is really using a selfie to put her best professional foot forward, or the twofer-that couple with the Olan Mills style photo. The lady is wearing red because it's "dynamic" and the man's eyeglasses are 20 years old.
5. My Dealer. In the last few weeks I've increased my record collection by about a foot. I found this guy in the most unexpected of places. He has all the good shit. His prices are ridiculously reasonable. And because he's always impressed by my choices (and I'm pretty) I usually get a fat discount. I love this guy so much I want to tell the whole world. But then everybody would know where to go for good, cheap vinyl. And then he'd catch on. And it wouldn't be cheap anymore. Why yes, that is the Gang of Four "Yellow Album"--original pressing, promotional copy actually. Oh, you didn't know Kenny Rogers was cool once? Please, be my guest. Let me just get this out of the cellophane. Yeah, that Smith's one. It's the real deal. What's that? You have trouble finding The Smiths on vinyl because everyone who ever owned a record never let it go? Louder Than Bombs is only one of mine. No big deal...
No comments :
Post a Comment