The Weekly Walk With Me

I feel like I've spent Independence Day weekend freeing myself from the month of June.  It was the longest month ever, and for no reason at all really. Maybe that it began with an executive meeting with a woman who had the nerve to wear shower shoes (Hint: It wasn't me.) and ended with my Dad's birthday blowout (where he wore shower shoes).  You see how this exhausts me...

7 Things in June-In No Particular Order

1. The losses.  Jean Ritchie and Ornette Coleman.  This gave me the sads, but an excuse to revisit their works and celebrate my music nerdist tendencies with edibles and patchouli.  OK, everyone knows I absolutely draw the line at patchouli, but I did let my wife burn incense when I wasn't home once.

2. True Detectives.  I want everyone involved in this project to sit on my face.  Except the children. And Kelly Reilly because I've always sort of hated her.  But she does manage to pull off a heavy bang and a blunt lob at the same time as if she were 25.  I could probably do a whole Walk With Me on this show and I'm only 2 episodes in.   The highlights for me so far:

• Lera Lynn
• Rick Springfield
• "I will come back and butt-fuck your father with your mother's headless corpse"

3. Alabama Shakes live.  This show was hot and sweaty and drunk and absurd.  And that just describes me, and the 75 year old man trying to eat nachos during the show-not the opening act.  If Brittany Howard is not on your radar, you are bad person.  You just are.

4. Following Anne Murray on Twitter.  These days I find myself surrounded by Canadians, which I'm OK with because I've always been infatuated.  When I was a little kid--I'm talking like 6--I was completely obsessed with Anne Murray.  I had a portable turntable/cassette player that closed like a suitcase and I carried it around with me everywhere.  I had a few 45s that changed up every other day or so, a Chipmunks LP, and an Anne Murray greatest hits cassette that I played TO. DEATH.  Most kids had a security blanket, I had all of the above with me at all times.  I'm not sure how a 6 year old found herself entertained by the sweet,sweet sounds of a soft-butch Canadian singing every song written by everyone else but I never claimed normalcy, and I definitely wasn't a My Little Pony kid.

5. The realization that my father, at his aforementioned birthday blowout, is walking around without eyebrows.  Apparently my mother didn't want my Dad's old man eyebrows to get out of control and talked him into giving them a trim.  The problem is, he can't see (or hear) and refuses to admit this. So he doesn't need your help, thank you very much. And now there are no eyebrows. None.  Like Uncle Leo on Seinfeld. Or Divine Miss M without her face on.

6. I wore a bathing suit.

7. This:

I will rarely discuss politics here.  I follow politics and current events closely and have my opinions, and a lot of them might surprise you. But I like to keep this forum as surfacey as possible so no one knows there's a tiny pot of gold in my cold black heart.  I can't help but touch on this, though.  I mean, June is Pride month. And there was kind of a major thing that happened. And I happen to be part of this community.  The gay one, not ISIS.  I just want to know how many Arabic speaking people are aware of this and completely offended that fat stupid Westerners think their language looks like butt plugs and dildos?